Earlier this month, the Australian resources space was shaken by a particular headline. It wasn’t a safety incident, it wasn’t a new lithium or nickel or gold discovery, and it wasn’t around politics.
It was about the separation of billionaires Andrew and Nicola Forrest after 31 years, the former power couple at the very top of ASX200 miner Fortescue Metals Group (FMG).
The Market Herald (TMH) covered this news at the time with a view to the implications for FMG’s shareholding structure.
But days later, billionaire Atlassian CEO Mike Cannon Brookes was splitting with his wife of 13 years, Annie.
So another question began brewing in our minds: Just how big a toll does achieving extreme business success and billionaire status take on the bonds of a marriage union?
What does it take for a marriage to outlast the pressures, temptations and demands when building a business empire or running a billion-dollar listed company?
Now, it’s not fair to single out the Forrests or the Brookes in this. Look at Elon Musk, Bill and Melinda Gates, and Jeff and Mackenzie Bezos. Or Rupert Murdoch, even.
Sensing a pattern here, our curiosity got the better of us, and so we got in touch with Dubai-based psychologist Pascale Nakhle seeking some professional insights on the phenomenon.
In what ways could running a publicly-listed business impact a marriage?
“Business leaders carry a great weight of responsibility and high expectations from investors, stakeholders, clients and employees,” she said.
“The pressure of leadership and decision-making can create emotional distress which may unintentionally get spilled over into the marriage.”
Ms Nakhle was quick to point out this could be as simple as coming back home from work in a bad mood – and that a CEO might be getting home late.
But there’s a larger and more fundamental problem with juggling high-profile corporate management and a full-time marriage – human beings only have so much energy.
Which do you prioritise? Which do you choose to invest more heart into?
You can’t be two people at once
“Juggling different roles may sometimes become very stressful where the business owners may feel they are stretching themselves too thin … wanting to show up as their best selves in both roles may at some point backfire, leaving them frustrated and unable to fully fulfill the role of a spouse,” Ms Nakhle said.
She notes different personality characteristics (and a sea of other variables) will, of course, make different couples more and less able to handle specific challenges as they arise.
But, when you’re hounded every day by the likes of venture capitalists, analysts, journalists, shareholders, debt collectors, prospective business partners, and so on, and everything you do is being closely watched, it’s pretty hard to maintain a healthy marriage.
Everyone wants a piece of you. The material wealth can be enticing – what you have looks rather attractive.
“The pressure to meet financial targets … can lead to high stress [and] create anxiety of making the wrong decisions, triggering fear of … disappointing stakeholders,” Ms Nakhle stated.
“Prolonged financial stress can have physical health consequences and social repercussions as [leaders] may socially withdraw to cope with the financial stress.”
But these people don’t have any financial stress, I hear the average Aussie say, whilst considering that yacht – the Pangaea Ocean Explorer – that’s really more like a ship that Dr Andrew Forrest enjoys (if he ever gets time).
True.
But they are highly accountable and so they carry a different type of financial stress to those of us trying to pay rent or make regular mortgage payments.
It’s lonely at the top
There’s a familiar saying in business circles that promises to haunt all those climbing the business ladder and actually making it to the peak: “It’s lonely at the top.”
“As business leaders ascend to higher positions, they may find themselves increasingly isolated and finding less peers to relate to,” Ms Nakhle said.
This can lead to a rather undesirable feedback loop.
“Moreover, the fear of vulnerability leaves leaders wanting to be away from others to protect themselves from being seen in a “weaker” position,” she said.
“Public criticism and scrutiny may lead to self-doubt, impact confidence and self-assurance, trigger feelings of isolation and might at some point influence decision-making.”
And whilst it’s not always the case or the cause of billionaire marriage breakdowns, they’ll be faced with temptations along the way too. Material wealth is enticing – what you have looks rather attractive and the aura of success adds to that. Temptations can come when people are having a rough run at home.
But will the grass be greener on the other side of the mansion fence?